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Everybody's gonna have a good time
Don't mention no stress right here
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 Kristine
Holds the key to her future, is that the key to truth? wongmlk@hotmail.com Shall take ourselves to a level higher. Just because we can. We shall always be happy and do whatever we want so that we would leave this world with no regrets. This is our life to live and we should answer to no one else but ourselves. We owe our lives to no one. To speak about freedom, but not being sure if we can achieve that. But we try. I never mentioned how we should all take risks, but only calculated ones. Never do something that your conscience can't live by, you don't want to face sleepless nights. The pursuit of happiness might not be with anyone else. The pursuit of happiness can be attained by walking the road alone. There are reasons why you remain alone, but many don't understand why you choose to be alone - they can't see why you're perfectly lonely. Archives
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Friday, February 22, 2008
18th-22nd Feb 08~ This is just for me and myself. I just wna write down all that's been happening for these few days. Cos I'm afraid that I might have a sudden memory loss and this week has had been a really emotional week for me. I have to really just write it down for future reference(?) This week it has been set that we will be into the National Schools. We will be facing many many more stronger schools. In retrospect, I hope that we have realised all our mistakes and not repeat them again at this much more respected game. But it was a hard fight for us to just squeeze into the Top 4. We've made it, we've made it. 3rd? I guess you might be thinking why we didn't even manage to clinch the third placing, we were devastated too, all thanks to me losing the most crucial match against Dunman High. What a bitch am I. F. I still had that wtf, they-so-strong-? FACE. F me. Whatever. SO SORRY TEAM. I undermined the opponents~ Then yea, we lost. &how much in me I wish our coach was Cai Coach. How much I wished that all the luck we needed were on our side. I really really believed in CC that we could clinch the top. I mean we were so well prepared. I was so well prepared w/ that duan jiao. I was practically soaring w/ like confidence. Now, I dont even dare to ce shen da qiu. This or that. Im dejected. Really. I just need someone to tell me that I can actually do it. I am so lacked of confidence now. I am. Whatever, sorry for the technical term. I just can't make it. I just can't tell myself that Im playing chang jiao now. How gay can that be. For the past month I've been living in a lie, I've been convincing myself that I am happy w/ my table tennis results, the way I play every single ball. But that hasn't been working. But I just didn't show. I am terribly utterly upset. I am. How should I say, it's like you're really better in playing CENTER in Netball, then your NEW coach DEMANDS you to play - GS, GOALSHOOTER. You know what, the team's gonna suffer and you. Would you even like it? Omg, sorry for being soooo emotional. I just couldnt help it. I've had enough of it. I've had it. &today was just anth reason for me to be sad. I mean all my laughters and jokes they just manage to barely drown that sorrow in me. I changed back to short pimple. But then.. But then.. I just couldnt make it. I couldn't.. Was it because I ... didn't train that for a month or so. BUT THEN, it could be, maybe I wasn't even cut out for it. I was scolded for being dumb and useless on front in the comp. Okay, I agree. But, you don't even know what I'm going through. EMO, EMO, EMO. TERRIBLE. D: It's like such a rollercoaster ride when you came and I had full confidence in you. Then you left due to sickness. Then you said that w/o table tennis, there wouldn't be us friends. Then I subtly agreed. Yea, sounds true yet it hurts just that little. Whatever and then came this new coach that replaced you. He seems so aloof. So mean, so whatever. Compared to you how much we hated him. Then maybe we had our judgement about that too early. We start to know that you guys were great friends.. Then this and that. We came to like him that much. And all the new made buddies and friends that came along w/ him to coach us too. We came to see how really good he is. And we had so much confidence after the 2nd placing we got from last year's zonals. Then .. He asked me to change my playing style, I was appalled, I resented it. But then it turned marvellous. A change was good after all. My love for table tennis grew and grew. We were so pleased and confident of your skills and your teaching. The way your talks had no difficulties in psychoing us to tune into the right mindset. How you could make the team unite yet so hard up for competition betwn ourselves. Then we knew ten over years of your national champions were nothing but the real talent and truth. We had all our hopes high, on ourselves and on your arangemts for the match. Then.. Then.. Then.. The school just dismissed you right before the competiton. We felt like we were being thrown down from the sky right back down to earth. THE WORST PART. How the sch just couldn't tell us the reason they had to dismiss you. Only by cooking up kuku excuses that couldn't just match up to the importance of our comp. Selfish? Who cares, I know it's my last year here. I have had released a trophy at Sec 1. We didn't even get into Nats, how I hated that China one. How much you've done by allowing us the 2nd trophy, the weaker C girls 3rd and into the Nationals. How. How. How. It's my last year and I'm touching the 4th trophy, not the 1st which could have been, should have been. How much I hope, I hope that you're still here seeing us through this Fing godam comp. New coach.. new coach.. New coach.. New means better that's what you Fing in charge say. Really? How true. You don't know how much you've put down our morale for the comps. At least get a better coach. WHY! And he is under the boys coach, under that guy and this guy. We're guinea pigs(?) And how broken our small little team is broken by you. (SC). &how much I have to endure seeing my teammates in tears almost everyday you appear. Yap, Tan, so many more. I feeeeeeeeeel useless. &your utterly terrible hack care face. What the hell. UGH. Why!!! @#$)@!%$^ GRRRRR! &then there's like this internal strife. How much I wanted CC. OMG. Sorry for the sec3 dudes in the sch. Cos.. you guys have one more year. One more year to be in that deplorable state. Im sorry. I feel apathetic towards you guys. Table tennis sounds like life to me. Somehow it is. But why isn't it somewhere Utopia, where everydays seems so lovable and happy despite winning or losing. Omg. It isn't how winning or losing affects me. But it's just how happy I am playing what I truly truly feel I should. D: JIAYOU! NOW THAT IM ALL ON MY OWN. ILL PROVE. PROVE. PROVE. SORRY FOR EMO POST. I ALWAYS LOOK HAPPY SO IT'LL BE FINE. FINE. FINE. FINE. FINE. &Edison SUCKZ |
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This city's made us Crazy
And we must get out |
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